Musings

Last Chemo… NOT

Cancer, Gratitude, Musings /

Update 6/23/23: Yeah, so every chemotherapy begins with blood work that measures a bunch of things, and today was no different. Except for the fact that my immune system had not recovered as much as they want it to recover between chemo infusions. So close! But just far enough that they sent me home and I will go back next Friday, which, if all goes well, will be my actual LAST CHEMO!

Tomorrow (6/23/23) is my last chemotherapy session. I will go to UCLA Oncology center and get infused with toxic chemicals (cancer killers) one last time! I’m excited to be done with this part. So, in that way I’m excited to go to my last session tomorrow. In other ways, I’m not excited. Chemo is like volunteering for the flu for a week. It will be fine. It will be just like the others before it and it will take me a week to feel better and another 2 weeks to have my immune system in good shape. And after that, I will be able to return to normal… whatever normal is these days…

In 3 to 4 weeks I will start a maintenance drug called Nariparib (Zejula). It is a relatively new drug that is classified as a PARP inhibitor. Look it up if you’re interested in the science… Basically it inhibits cancer cells and causes them to die. Hopefully this drug will keep me cancer free for a very long time. I will be taking this drug for 2 to 3 years. I can’t say I’m excited to be on a cancer drug, but I am excited to be alive and to stay alive!

I don’t know when I’ll feel like going back to some of my things, like chorus and in person lessons and traveling, but I think this summer will be a time of transition for all of these things. I’m sure looking forward to seeing some folks that I haven’t seen in a long time!

Oh, and I am excited to wish you all a Happy Pride Month!

Chemo Swag: Rainbow Bracelet, Rainbow Apple Watch Face and band, Ovarian Cancer Bracelet, Another Ovarian Cancer Bracelet, and two Morse Code Bracelets (Ask me what they mean if you want to know…)
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Cancer Journals

Cancer, Gratitude, Musings /

Ribbons we all know about, but did you know that butterflies are also a common symbol for cancer patients?

There is a different color ribbon for almost each kind of cancer. Teal is for ovarian and cervical cancers. Pink is for breast cancer and they get the most press! I just saw a table devoted to breast cancer awareness at Trader Joe’s today… I tipped my teal ribbon decorated cap at the person at the table.

Cancer is tough and one of the ways that I’ve found to help get through it is journaling. Now, I actually journal mostly on my iPad because it’s usually handy and has a keyboard connected, but I used to journal exclusively on paper and I still love holding a book and a pen in my hands and marking those pages with colorful ink. So, to help others journal, I’ve put out three cancer journals on amazon (and when I get my copies, they’ll also be on my kohlermusicpress.com site).

These are the covers. Links are to amazon: Pink – breast cancer. Rainbow – any cancer. Teal – ovarian cancer.

And just so you’re aware of some of the big ones, here’s a picture:

An incomplete picture of different color cancer awareness ribbons.
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Ovarian Cancer Symptoms

Cancer, Musings /

This terrible disease has a history of not being recognized until it’s very late and so I feel like it’s important to share with you a list of common symptoms.

Symptoms list (this list is nowhere near complete and some people don’t experience any symptoms at all):

  • Pain in ovary area.Dull ache in reproductive area
  • Lower back pain
  • More intense cramps during period/More intense bleeding
  • Tiredness
  • Indigestion
  • Nausea
  • Pain during Intercourse
  • Bloating – not uncommon for this cancer to quickly cause water retention in the stomach area. Looking pregnant from the water retention is a repeating story
  • Trouble breathing deeply/shortness of breath
  • Coughing from the pressure on diaphragm
  • Acid reflux or unusual heart burn
  • Feeling full very quickly
  • Painful bowel movements. Constipation or alternately, sometimes diarrhea
  • Left shoulder pain
  • No symptoms at all…

Personally, I had constipation (painful bowel movements) and acid reflux slowly increasing over the year or so before my diagnosis. I attributed this to going through menopause, but in December of 2022, I started to have pain during intercourse as well as ongoing lower abdominal discomfort. I thought I had a UTI. So, I went in and peed in a cup. No UTI meant that I went in again and the doctor ordered a CT scan and we found a suspicious mass on and around my left ovary.

After my diagnosis in January, I continued to get more symptoms until I started chemo. The symptoms I just described continued, but add: feeling full very quickly, the water retention and coughing from the pressure on my diaphragm (resulting in paracentesis), and nausea. My voice wasn’t quite right and I couldn’t sing very well… And if you know me, I like to sing very well!

To say most of my symptoms could’ve been chalked up to menopause and or getting older and having more digestive issues is true and I would’ve probably ignored it, or just tried to eat better if it hadn’t be for the painful sex and UTI that wasn’t…

From an article with more really good information! How Common is ovarian cancer and who gets it:

Ovarian cancer makes up about 3% of all cancers among women and it is rare among women under 40. Ovarian cancer most frequently develops in women 55 to 64 years old and in women who began menstruating before age 12 or reached menopause after age 50. Higher risk also is associated with:

So, pay attention to your bodies, ladies and other ovary havers. If something doesn’t feel right, take notice. And if your doctor doesn’t take you seriously, press until you get some answers. Ovarian cancer is rare, so hopefully not many of you will be in my shoes in the future, but still you need to be your own advocate when it comes to your own health. Please, push your doctors. Get answers. Don’t just back off and say your health is probably just menopause, when you know something is really wrong.

Cancer Journal – Rainbow Ribbons.

Available on Amazon.

Also available in Teal Butterflies.

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